Heaven

Snow covered trees look like heaven to me. I love when the snow falls straight down and sticks to the branches of trees and creates that white chaos of lines that for some reason calms me. I am a firm believer that organic shapes and forms are the most beautiful. The curves of Sean’s back and shoulders fascinate me.

That idea leads me to think about touch. I have only recently realized the importance of touch. I think that part of what made me finally see why it is so important was realizing that I will never hug my mom again. There is something about a mother’s touch that just can not be quantified. I mean, other people can touch you and make you feel loved, but none like your mother. I miss my mom.

Right after my mom died I thought that I needed to fill her role in my sister’s life and I am finally realizing that all I can do is be there for her. I can’t be a mother to her. She needs to be able to grieve just like me. I can’t run around trying to do all of the things for her that my mom used to do – that isn’t healthy for either of us.

I was thinking that this post would be about heaven because of how beautiful winter is, but it turns out that it is about my mom – I can’t say that I am honestly surprised.

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