As a future teacher, I like the fact that I see people for their good qualities. I want to believe that everyone is capable of being considerate and caring. I hope that I can see my students in an objective light after being trampled by society’s rudeness.
In other consistancy news, I read an article about a group of people who hiked and kayaked in Chile and I thought about how I would love to do that, but I don’t really like to camp for more than a week. I can’t even go more than a day or so without a shower, but I really thought the kayak trip would be cool. Would I be able to do that? I want to try. I want to try everything.
That idea leads me to think about touch. I have only recently realized the importance of touch. I think that part of what made me finally see why it is so important was realizing that I will never hug my mom again. There is something about a mother’s touch that just can not be quantified. I mean, other people can touch you and make you feel loved, but none like your mother. I miss my mom.
Right after my mom died I thought that I needed to fill her role in my sister’s life and I am finally realizing that all I can do is be there for her. I can’t be a mother to her. She needs to be able to grieve just like me. I can’t run around trying to do all of the things for her that my mom used to do – that isn’t healthy for either of us.
I was thinking that this post would be about heaven because of how beautiful winter is, but it turns out that it is about my mom – I can’t say that I am honestly surprised.
The other thing about this new discovery is that my mom would think it was very strange. My mom thought I was crazy when I went out for the golf team in high school, and I know she would think that this choice is very strange too. My family is not athletic at all and watches/follows no sports. They have been shocked by anything athletic that I become involved with – which isn’t very much. I wonder exactly what my mom would say about this if she were still around.
I guess I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I like the way I live, but I feel out of touch.